I’m All THAT and a Bag of Chips. What Are You?

What’s Up Wenzday 19/12/12

WHAT’S UP WENZDAY POINT #1:

A NOTE OF CLARIFICATION —

 

Two things have come to my attention in the past several weeks:

 

(a) My ex and his extended family are still extremely interested in my blog. So — I want to wish the teeny, tiny town of Eaton, Ohio a very happy day. Just so we’re all clear on the subject, I am sending you greetings of affection, not thumb tacks or broken glass or laser beams. In spite of the horrendous lies you said about me, I still have nothing but the best of hopes that your life will improve in such a way as that you can find peace and joy.

 

While I am flattered you still find me so awesome, after having been divorced and re-married for well over five years now, I must admit it’s kind of creepy that you still check up on me. Like, stalker-ish even. Am I the only one who thinks it’s time for the ex and his extensions to move along and get over me?

 

Seriously — either you think I’m great and you just can’t take your eyes away — or else you are harboring anger toward me that borders on cray-cray since I’ve only seen you like twice, and at that only in passing, over the last decade. Whichever way it turns out to be… Yikes! Go get some therapy, people.

 

Am I right? Here’s a thought — and I’ll only ask this publicly the one time — what do you think about dropping all this bullshit in consideration of the child involved? Just something to consider. You know, for the baby. We don’t have to do this stupid war-thing wherein you spy on me and act ugly in court, and I walk away with all your money without even trying. We could actually be friendly grownups who work together to ensure the party in question has the best of all possible worlds. You know — world peace and all that glittery jazz? Think about it, will you?

 

(b) Someone seriously thinks I sit at my computer and post shit for days on end without getting up from my desk. I realize that not everyone can be as blog-ishly savvy as I am, but to think that’s even possible is ludicrous.

 

Consider: I make dinner for the fam, we have family game nights, we snuggle up and watch documentaries, we visit that crappy little zoo nearby, we spend time with our extended fam, we work on summer-school activities, we paint, we color, we read books, we go bowling, and somehow through it all there is clean laundry and a nice shiny toilet to shit in. The list goes on, but that’s just off the top of my head.

 

How can I sit at my desk for 48 hours straight, yet still accomplish this stuff? Here’s how it works, for the nosey poop-heads who crawled up my ass — and yeah, you certainly know who you are.

 

There’s this nifty thing called scheduling. And I use it. End of story.

 

What’s that? You don’t believe me? Well then, let me list the fucking tools I use, just to put your pea-brain at ease.

First, I like Hootsuite an awful lot. It allows you to see all your social media streams in one place and you can choose to which account (Twitter, FaceBook, etc.) you want to post an item, and from there arrange the date and time for it to “go live”. One of Hootsuite’s most useful new features lies in its ability to calculate your moments of highest reader volume, so you can schedule items to post when traffic is at its height.

 

Second, I also frequently utilize Buffer which works similarly to Hootsuite with its multi-stream ability. Buffer is actually a bit easier to use than Hootsuite, due to its one-click scheduling. However, without upgrading to the paid version, the freebie scheduling stream can fill up very quickly. I’ve used the paid version, and it is most excellent — as soon as our budget allows, this is one area we will definitely spend the money.

 

There are other tools which likely perform similar if not exactly the same functions as the two mentioned herein. I think I’ve made it abundantly clear, though, that I can quite easily “post every hour for 48 hours straight” even with no internet access. Hell, I can schedule ahead as far as I like and go on vaca to a remote island for months on end if I so please and yet never miss a day. I could even get fancy and post MORE OFTEN than every hour. Wild!

 

Readers who don’t COMMUNICATE with me would never know that I’m not ignoring my babies. Fancy that.

 

Turns out I’m actually not a shitty mother after all. Perhaps questions about my parenting in the future could be addressed to me directly as opposed to a court of law. Just a thought, since hearsay and lies make you look REALLY bad and end up losing you the case.

 

Anyway… moving on…

 

 

WHAT’S UP WENZDAY POINT #2:

MY HAPPINESS PROJECT—

 

This is the fifth week of Andi-Roo’s Happiness Project, based on Gretchen Rubin’s blog. I began putting together scrapbook pages to hang on my office wall reflecting each step I’ve taken thus far. Currently I only have my Personal Commandments put together, but eventually I’ll get there. Pretty funny considering I’m not exceptionally crafty!

 

Happiness Project Assignment #5:

Go Outside

 

This directive comes at a good time. The hot days of summer are gone for the most part, but the cold has not yet set in. At least, that’s how the weather rests in my corner of the world. Ohio gets all four seasons in spades, and we are currently sitting smack-dab in the middle between high summer and early fall. It is an odd time of year — to mow, or not to mow, that is the question. (We usually say NOT, which likely comes as no surprise to most of you by now!)

 

We live out in the country, so it always smells great in our back yard. But it’s not just the clean air we’re talking about here. I’m not really an outdoors kind of girl, but I can always tell the difference between sunless me versus got-some-rays me. As Gretchen puts it:

 

“light deprivation is one reason

that people feel tired.

Research suggests that light

stimulates brain chemicals

that improve mood

and increase motivation.”

 

So on top of exchanging your recycled oxygen for some of that new stuff, expose your body to a bit of that big, bright, yellow vitamin in the sky. I haven’t done this in a few days, so I guess it’s about time to crawl out of my cave. Hopefully I don’t turn into dust like the vampires of lore.

 

If you missed the first few weeks of my Happiness Project, or want to catch up on the Assignments so you can create your OWN Happiness Project, here are the links:

 

1. Create a list of Personal Commandments.

 

2. Choose a Personal Symbol representative of you and your Happiness Project.

 

3. Think about ways to Have More Fun.

 

4. Find a Place of Refuge to visit when you have to count to ten.

 

WHAT’S UP WENZDAY POINT #3:

MY WORK IN PROGRESS, OR AS I LIKE TO CALL IT, MY WIPPY-DOODLE!

 

We are still waiting to hear back from StumbleUpon with regard to their Get Discovered Writing Contest. I know from my own observations that my story came in 2^nd place, which is so cool I can’t even think of good enough words to convey my excitement, besides the uber-obvious, “OMG! No fucking way! Holy shit, can you believe it?” For a professional statement, you’ll have to check back next week, because for now, I got nothin’.

 

On the bright side, I have continued on beyond the two chapters I submitted, and am halfway through completion of chapter 3. I didn’t do a word count, so you’ll just have to take my word for it that progression has occurred.

 

And I am exceptionally stoked! Because one day while sitting on the couch across from my hubz, I suddenly realized how this volume must end. Honestly, I wasn’t even thinking about my wippy-doodle in the slightest. I would like to say I was considering many important matters of great concern to our common welfare, but the truth of the matter is that I was thinking about walking up to our local deli for an ice cream cone. Even worse, I was in a lazy funk, so to be truly honest, I was actually mustering up the courage to beg my hubz to walk up and get the ice cream cone for me. To prove his love.

 

But whatever! Fuck ice cream! Why am I even talking about dairy when — HELLO — I have the ending to my novel sorted, and what’s more, with zero effort on my part. It’s really not fair that this happened to me, because if I get this puppy published, readers might think I’m all great, and how am I supposed to take credit for something that seriously just popped into my brain out of nowhere?

 

So now I have a much more clear idea of where my characters must go, and sort of why they must get there. All I have to do is fill in the details and ensure they stay on target. Or shoot them if they stray. I hear catastrophe is an excellent way to make your errant characters behave, and I can whip up some real doozies.

 

WHAT’S UP WENZDAY POINT #4:

BONUS MATERIAL —

 

Lest I come across more hard-hearted than usual, I would like everyone to know that I did indeed take a moment of silence yesterday in honor of those who died in the attack on our Twin Towers. I just didn’t want to add to the emotional cacophony of sorrow plaguing the webby-webs. So here it is today, hidden quietly at the end of my “What’s Up Wenzday” post, for those who actually came with me all the way to the end. I’m sorry for those who died, and even more so for those who survived such loss. I’m also sorry for how much our country is still shook up over the tragedy years later. I wish we could all just live in peace. Good grief — is that too much to ask?

And that’s what’s up Wenzday.

Hope your Hump-Day is full of hump-ish good times.

I’d love to hear what’s up with YOUR Wenzday!

And please tell me how *YOUR* Happiness Project is coming along!