Dear EX Mother In Law

I am ecstatic to learn you have been looking for me online. 

Normally being cyber-stalked would lead to feelings of discomfort, but you and I share a relationship transcending such rubbish. We have been “in the trenches”, so to speak. I cannot thank you enough for the lessons you’ve imparted. I really learned a lot from you about who I want to be as a spouse, as a parent, as a daughter-in-law, and as a person. I will never forget everything you have taught me.

 

From you I learned to be grateful for a husband who dotes on me. 

I know now to enjoy every moment with him, and to accept every embrace he offers, even if it comes at an inopportune moment. How did I manage to get lucky enough to find myself so adored by the one I love? And why would I turn away his affection to instead wash dishes? I see in your example that I should never miss an opportunity to share hugs and kisses with my spouse. My husband and I have such a joyous marriage, and I owe it in part to you. Thank you.

 

From you I learned to be a strong parent, 

to follow through on my words, to be more than my children’s friend, and to love my babies no matter what. I see clearly the tremendous folly of neglecting discipline or refraining from putting down a strong foot when called for. How would I have raised such loving, devoted children if I had avoided earning their respect, leaving them instead to tend to their own emotional growth? I see in your example that I should shower my children with affection while still maintaining my authority; to be a parent first, so that we may be friends in adulthood. I have such a close relationship with my children, I know they will always be part of my life, and that I will always be part of theirs, and I owe it to you. Thank you.

 

From you I learned what it means to have my mother-in-law as a true friend, 

to be loved for my flaws rather than in spite of them, and that we can disagree without ending our loving relationship. I learned that while a mother-in-law may love her child, she can still remove herself from the blindness this love invokes, seeing his flaws clearly. I learned from you that Dr. Phil doesn’t have all the answers, and that my friendship can be deep and interlocked without us forcing lessons upon each other which simply are not necessary. My mother-in-law loves me as she would a daughter, and I am able to adore her in return; our friendship goes beyond my marriage to her son, and I owe it to you. Thank you.

 

From you I learned what self-improvement really means, 

and have gained confidence in myself to keep growing and maturing rather than stagnating in an evil pool of bitterness. I learned that my depression was something for which I needed help, and thanks to your example, I was able to seek assistance outside my own marred, angry view of the world. I have a new perspective on what it means to love myself, and thereby love others. I am able to forgive perceived slights, move past unimportant disagreements, let go of insignificant annoyances, and enjoy each moment for what it is: Life. I now grab each day with hands prepared to create joy, rather than sour grapes. I see beauty in others, even in you, rather than assuming only ugliness exists. The darkness has lifted, and I owe it to you. Thank you.

 

I wish we could sit down and talk about all of this, 

but alas, I fear you are still behind me on the path toward peace and love. I will continue praying for your anger to dissipate and your internal poisons to be quenched. I have hope you emerge from your self-inflicted cocoon as a beautiful butterfly, eager to fly into a new world — one which is free of grudges and misunderstandings and hatred and fear. I wish upon you all the happiness that I have found. You deserve it. Truly, you are a wondrous creature who has contributed to who I am today. Thank you.