Oscar Prep #2
Forty-two films were nominated for at least one Oscar this year.
Which is cool, because, you know, 42 is the answer to Life, the Universe, & Everything. Douglas Adams much?
Okay, actually more than 42 films were nominated, if you include the shorts. But I don’t, because they are almost impossible to find, they aren’t mainstream, and quite frankly I have enough movies on my plate.
I have to draw the line somewhere.
Speaking of drawing a line…
There is one movie I refuse to watch this year. It’s not controversial or trigger-happy. It’s not something that hits too close to home. It’s not overly violent or crazy religious or any number of other reasons you might think I’d avoid a film like the mother-fucking plague.
The movie is Shaun the Sheep.
You might be asking,
Andi-Roo, isn’t this one of the movies going up for Animation, which is, like, one of your favorite categories?
-OR-
Andi-Roo, you watched a lot of stupid movies in your time. What’s the story behind this particular one?
Yes, it is going up for Best Animation. And yes, that is certainly one of my favorite categories. Also yes, I have seen a lot of crazy films over the years during Oscar Prep. That’s one of the reasons I love Oscar Season — I always see at least one movie that pushes me out of my comfort zone, or educates me, or touches me, or gives me something to ponder over the next year. I am not typically averse to seeing something outside the norm.
But I can’t do Shaun the Sheep.
And here’s why. I can’t stand Claymation. I can’t stand Walter & Grommet. I can’t stand it. I just can’t. I tried, you guys. It’s available on DVD, so I put it on my Netflix list. It arrived in short time, and then it sat there for a couple days as I worked to avoid it. Family Night arrived and I cringed as I offered it up. Even my daughter was like NO THANK YOU in a tone of voice that let me know she was actually mentally saying AH HELL NAH.
I called my sister, the captain of Team Oscars, and explained my quandary.
I was like, “I just can’t do it. I can’t force myself to watch this one. It makes me feel dirty.”
I expected her to give me a pep talk –
Buck up, Andi-Roo, and put that thing in the player RIGHT FUCKING NOW. You get that bad boy watched, kid. Oscar Prep demands it of you. March. Go.
What happened instead was nothing short of a miracle.
Pssshhhh. Ain’t nobody got time for THAT shit. Skip it. I’m certainly not watching it!
The relief that flooded through me was immense. So I sent it back, unwatched, guilt free. The only other time I’ve sent a disc back to Netflix unwatched was after Les Miserables sat on my table FOR A MONTH as I danced around it to avoid the cry fest.
Here’s what I HAVE seen since the Noms were announced:
Mad Max: Fury Road > This movie got 10 Noms for sound and visuals and design, along with costume and makeup. Plus it’s going up for Best Picture as well as Directing. We really enjoyed this reboot to the Mad Max saga, even though my husband and I only saw the first one and that was like five-krillion years ago, and our daughter had never seen any. It was just the right amount of weird and sci-fi and world-building and character development. We thought it was very well done and a lot of fun. But Best Picture? I don’t know about all that. I don’t typically want that category going to action films / summer blockbusters. This was more a guilty pleasure and I don’t think it’s deep enough to win. We watched via Netflix DVD.
Sicario > Three Noms for sound, score, and cinematography. All very deserving categories for it to win. The movie itself was frustrating as things played out, and I was overall dissatisfied with the conclusion. Halfway through I ventured a guess as to how I thought things would go, and it turns out that not only was I wrong, but that my idea was better. It was kind of a letdown. The movie itself was well done — we especially loved the camera work — but the story was meh. We watched via RedBox DVD rental.
When Marnie Was There > Going up for Best Animation. I gotta be honest. I didn’t love this movie. It had kind of a lesbian vibe to it, which would have been fine if that’s what was happening, but since that’s NOT what was happening it ended up just feeling dirty and weird. The protagonist was an unlikable kid, for understandable reasons, but I was really put off when out of the blue and for absolutely no reason, she called a really nice if somewhat overbearing girl a FAT PIG. You cannot imagine how happy I was when she attempted to make amends at the end. Still, while the animation was good, and the voices were wonderful, the story itself just didn’t grab me. We watched via Netflix DVD.
Winter On Fire: Ukraine’s Fight For Freedom > Best Documentary, and WOW was it a good one! The hubz and I watched this together and I totally expected to be bored because WAR IS BORING but instead it captured me right from the start and kept me engaged the entire time. It was very inspirational — I felt quite filled with hope for humanity by the conclusion. Those people are fucking amazing, strong, and brave. We watched via Netflix Instant Streaming.
The Martian > I gotta be honest; as much as I love Matt Damon, and as well as he captured Mark Watney, I didn’t like the movie as much as the book. The book was so witty and comical yet completely believable, and that just didn’t quite come through as well in the film. Also, part of the draw of the novel was the nail-biting {WILL HE MAKE IT?} and I didn’t feel that suspense in the movie. I will admit, since I read the book before seeing the movie, that might be my own fault, since YEAH, I already knew he’d make it home alive. But I can usually treat books and movies as separate creations. That’s kind of a requirement in order to participate in Oscar Prep. Objectivity is a goal. So while I’m trying to be upfront, I just don’t think that was the issue. I think the movie was merely Very Good while the book was Fucking Excellent. Best picture? Nah. Especially after reading about the shenanigans the campaigners pulled at the Golden Globes: The Martian took home the award for Best Comedy. {HINT: The Martian is NOT, in fact, a comedy. Liars and schemers and cheaters.} We rented this from Amazon.
Amy > This topic deserves an entirely separate post which I hope to address in the near future. Think APATHY and then apply it to basically everyone surrounding Amy Winehouse. When you’re done with that, apply it to basically everyone in America. Or England. Or, you know what? Just apply it to EARTH. The human species. So fucking apathetic. Now let’s start over and instead of APATHY we’ll use the word GREEDY. I could go on and on. I feel deeply about this documentary, as it hits a little too close to home WRT how people with mental health issues are treated and how artists are viewed and how hard it is to get the help you need. Shit, Amy Winehouse wrote an entire song spelling out her issues, got up on stage, and screamed HALP to the whole world. You know what came of it? Nothing. Because people suck, is why. God damn, this documentary pissed me off. Available via instant streaming through our Amazon Prime membership.
Still only seen 9/42 movies, and of those, only 2/8 nominated for Best Picture.
FREE Plans for this week:
- The 100-Year-Old Man > Available via instant streaming through our Amazon Prime membership.
- Cartel Land > Available via Netflix Instant Streaming.
- What Happened, Miss Simone? > Available via Netflix Instant Streaming.
FREE Hopes for this week:
(available on DVD from Netflix)
- Fifty Shades of Grey > Still not sure I actually wanna see this. It’s only going up for best song, and it’s not even THAT SONG playing on the radio. Do I really wanna sully my vision with this crap? Oh, Oscar Prep, you make me feel so dirty.
- The Hunting Ground
- The Look of Silence
LOW-COST Hopes for this week:
- $1.50 + tax: Bridge of Spies > Available to rent from Redbox.
- $3.99+ : Racing Extinction > Available to rent from Amazon Prime.
- $3.99+ : Straight Outta Compton > Available to rent from Amazon Prime.
Low-cost films for which I’d have to go out into the world (so then probably NO):
{Playing at the Danbarry Dollar Saver. $3.00 / $1.75 on Tuesdays / *$1.00 on its last night (Thursday)*}
- Creed
- *The Danish Girl*
- Joy
Are you doing any Oscar Prep this year? Planning to see Shaun the Sheep or Fifty Shades of Grey? Feeling dirty?