I considered quitting this whole blogging A-to-Z shindig.
I’m so far behind on the A to Z Blogging Challenge, I’ve probably been removed from the list at this point. And maybe that’s a good thing, because some shitty shit has occurred with which I am quite displeased. One of my bloggy friends, , has received multiple visitations from the God Squad. They asked her to clean up her language, or to at least post a disclaimer. She chose to go the disclaimer route {“Filthy, dirty language and occasional adult themes. NOT FOR KIDS, is what I’m sayin’.”}, as that’s a lot easier than performing a complete overhaul on one’s writing style. That was quite a compromise, and one I’m not even sure I’d have made — but huge kudos to her for playing nice.
But still, the God Squad cometh.
Marjorie, breaker of invisible rules and regulations, has been told her blog is foul (or “fowl”, depending upon who’s visiting), devoid of valuable content, lacking in positivity, replete with naughty language nigh on porn, and does not, in fact, bring all the boys to the yard. Also? Her posts may, or may not, be “too long”.
THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.
O_o
Come on, now.
You can’t expect me to pass up a perfect opportunity for a Michael Scott response. Especially when the God Squad might be stopping in for a visit.
Moving on… Let’s pull out our trusty dictionaries.
Because if my friend is going to be accused of some shitty shit, I want to know exactly which shitty shit I need to be worried about. After all, if Marjorie is going down, then none of us is safe. The God Squad has made of her a martyr, representing potty-mouthed individuals near and far across this great planet.
Inappropriate: improper, unsuitable, inapt, unfitting.
Also: The word people use when you’ve done something that isn’t technically “bad” or “wrong” but they still don’t like it anyway and expect you to conform to their personal tastes; the current euphemism for “wrong” or “bad.” It is supposed to sound more objective than “wrong” and “bad,” but it is not.
To say Marjorie’s blog is improper is stupid, because I find it extremely proper for my reading delights. Moreover, it is quite suitable for the crowd at which it is aimed. ‘Tis verily apt, as well as fitting. Anyone who likes things that are funny and who are not straight-up dull-assed prudes will enjoy Marjorie’s blog. The God Squad may be surprised to find that there are a lot of us out there. I know it must be shocking to find that boring-ness is become more and more passé.
And the crowds sayeth unto thee, oh God Squad, “We no likies your Puritanical bossy bullshit. Please pass the beer.”
Other readers may find Marjorie’s writing, and indeed, all of her many and varied followers, improper for their delicate sensitivities, but given that the blogging world is as yet unregulated this is merely a matter of taste. So one may not accuse Marjorie’s blog of being unsuitable, inapt, or unfitting without attaching “IMO” {In My Opinion} to the end of the motherfucking accusation.
Also? Marjorie’s fantastic blog was categorized in comments as being less than educational or enlightening. The individual in question has obviously never read a post in her “Fun Friday Facts” series, an ongoing column which is chock-full of trivia and interesting facts. Lest you think I’m lying, here is the most recent edition. Lest you think she just made that shit up on the spot, here is the first post from almost two years ago.
I don’t know about you, but I find this series extremely inspirational. I mean, IT JUST KEEPS GOING. There are always more reedonkulous facts to share, and stupid acts to uncover, and rude nonsense to reveal. And Marjorie does the hard work of finding it for us, adding images, and collating it into a readable and enjoyable format. She is performing a public service, yo!
So here’s what’s happening *IN MY OPINION*.
{See what I did there? I qualified that shit!} The God Squad is bossy and wants to kill all forms of entertainment if it doesn’t push forward certain values. Values which are supposed to be Christ-like but which in fact would make Baby Jesus spin in his grave were he still all buried in that cave and whatnot. Values which force gays back into the closet, put women back in the kitchen, and ask minorities to continue mowing our lawns quietly unless they want to get shipped back to whatever country they came from.
Because ALL non-whites are nothing but worthless immigrants who only want to game our awesome welfare system. EVERYONE knows that.
{Except that (a) The majority of my exes are non-whites and as a result my kids are of mixed ancestry, and (b) gaming the welfare system is more effort than it’s worth since you have to have 5-krillion babies and fill out tons of paperwork and waste entire paid work days sitting in offices where civil servants judge you the entire time, and (c) assholes come in all shades of the rainbow and reside at all economic levels. But whatever.}
What I am hearing the God Squad say:
“We want you to be tolerant of our intolerance.”
Not to be rude, crass, and lacking in morals, but… How about if you kiss my motherfucking grits? And also? Fuck you. But just a little bit. Because I do have a heart.
I forgot to address the other concerns, like the bit where her posts are too long. But since I’ve just about hit 1000 words anyway, it’s kind of a moot point. Either you’ve long since gotten offended and run off to report me, or you’ve long since gotten bored and realized my ramblings aren’t your style and thus clicked off to some other more interesting blog. Or — and this would make you pretty god-damned cool in my book — you read all the way through and obviously don’t give a shit about length so long as you’re enjoying yourself. In which case… Hi, friend!
