My Happiness Project: V is for Villain
The AtoZ Challenge means posting every day in April except Sundays, which leaves exactly 26 days – one day for each of the 26 letters of the alphabet.
See my Great and Powerful Theme Reveal – My Happiness Project – for a full list of the posts, updated throughout the month.
And be sure to check out , a Twitter list composed of individuals I have every intention of visiting during this year’s challenge.
Nobody is a villain in their own story. We’re all the heroes of our own stories. ~George R. R. Martin
V is for Villain
Being bad can be good.
oh — wait — I don’t want you to think I’m encouraging you to run out and purposely do bad things for the sake of being bad. That’s not what I’m advocating in any way whatsoever. So don’t go on a murdering spree and then lay the blame at my feet, ya weirdo.
What I mean is this.
It’s okay to purposely choose to do a bad thing… if it’s for the right reason. One of my Personal Commandments states, “Be yourself, even at great personal cost.” Sometimes that means breaking the law.
Whoa. That sounds like maybe I’m pro-vigilante or something.
I hate to break it to you, but YEAH, I am, actually.
Here’s the thing:
This was was originally supposed to be “V is for Value” but that sounds a bit more goody-goody than I tend to be. And I couldn’t get behind it. Not that I’m opposed to people who are of goody-goody nature… unless they allow their goody-goody-ness to get in the way of doing WHAT IS RIGHT.
To me, being virtuous — or, having values — means that the right and the good come above social convention or man-made laws.
Examples:
A kid I knew was being beat up by her mom. Multiple calls to Child Protective Services met with lackluster check-ins by police… police who told the child on multiple occasions that it wasn’t illegal for her mom to smack her across the face {with a fist, mind you}, or to spank her teenaged ass {with a bat, mind you}, or to ground her {to a specific spot upon which the child must stand for 24-hour periods, mind you}… The police told the girl she should just get over it and stop wasting their time.
The child ended up with a police record, because she kept running away from home.
I can’t imagine why anyone would want to leave such a heinous residence, can you?
Lots of people followed the law in that situation. Every single person who never called the cops. Every single person who DID call the cops but didn’t follow through. Every single cop or Child Services employee who checked the box. Every single teacher and counselor at her school who passed on reports to Child Services but then failed to do anything else.
All of those people can pat themselves on the back for a job extremely well done in maintaining the law.
Excellent work, you guys. Really.
[*slow clap*]
You know when the situation changed?
When I bucked social convention — the one which says, “It’s none of our business,” or, “There’s nothing we can do,” or, “I’m sure she’ll be okay,” — and paid for a lawyer out of my own pocket. Suddenly the system paid attention. I got her removed from her home and things got better from there. Everyone gave me a pat on the back for a job well done, like being virtuous, a person of value, was such a great thing.
So yeah.
I don’t mind going against society.
Particularly when it means doing WHAT IS RIGHT.
I don’t mind being that jerk at the party that stops a drunk-ass friend from getting behind the wheel of a car — while everyone else just watches because confrontation is hard.
I don’t mind telling people that I don’t give a shit about the lack of policy; there will be no smoking at the kids’ bus stop.
I don’t mind emailing every member of the school board; every principal, secretary, and teacher in the entire school district; the local and state newspaper; the radio; and the news station; that my son is being harassed for being a Person of Color and that bull-hockey will end IMMEDIATELY because I don’t give a shit that “hazing is just how it goes when you’re on the football team”.
I don’t mind telling my daughter’s principal that his explanation of WHY a thing happened to my daughter is unnecessary because I don’t give a shit WHY a thing happened; I care that it was unacceptable and will never, ever happen again.
People like to say I walk around with a chip on my shoulder, looking for a fight. Which makes me a villain of sorts. That description used to bother me. I used to cry about it, because who wants to think of themselves as the bad guy?
But I’m over that, and here’s why:
Let’s think about what part you would play if we lived during the American Civil War.
- Would you help hide escaped slaves in your cellar or attic? Would you be a part of the Underground Railroad? Would you do your best to protect people in need, and get them to safety? Then by all accounts you are a villain, too, and I’m damn glad to know you. Welcome to Team DO GOOD. If a man-made law is not helping people, and is actually going so far as to allow the harm to continue, then the law is rendered moot in my book. I’m glad you get that.
- Would you avoid getting into trouble with the law, but also avoid ratting anyone out? Would you keep secret the fact that your neighbor is harboring escapees, and just try to pretend you knew nothing? Then congratu-fucking-lations. You are merely a mediocre individual. You follow the law to the letter and should be proud of your lucky little life. I don’t hate you, per se, but I sure don’t respect you much. At best you can be described the way Douglas Adams defined humanity: Mostly Harmless.
- Would you report your neighbors for harboring suspected escapees? Would you turn in run-away slaves so as to actively obey the law? Would you join hunting parties to help bring those pesky slaves to justice? Yeah? Then WOW. You are the real villain in this scenario and I will say here, loud and proud, with zero shame, that I hate you. You are a worthless piece of shit.
- Would you be #3 only with excitement, joy, and zeal? You are psychopath. Please stop reading my blog. I don’t want anything I say to enter your strange cloud of amusement. You are an icky, despicable animal.
As long as I can sleep at night knowing I’m doing the right thing, I will gladly let you call me a villain. Being a villain — which is to say, vigilante — means I am being true to myself, even at great personal cost.
The cost being, of course, that I’m a real drag at parties.
An excellent man, like precious metal, is in every way invariable; A villain, like the beams of a balance, is always varying, upwards and downwards. ~John Locke
Every day this month I will share a book* about Happiness, or fighting Depression, or one that cracked me up good.
Try Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment, by Tal Ben-Shahar.
*Please see my post “B is for Books” for a full listing of all the books mentioned throughout this series.
To become a villain, you had to have become disillusioned, and in order to become disillusioned you had to have been passionate about something you believed in that was shaken and ripped from your grasp as a protagonist in that stage of your life, leaving you disillusioned with God, if you will. ~Matthew Davis
Every day this month I will share a song from my Happiness Song List.
Today’s song is “Shake it off” by Taylor Swift.
*Please see my post “M is for Music” for a full listing of all the music mentioned throughout this series. Or click here — Andi-Roo’s Happiness Project — for the entire YouTube playlist.
- Are you a villain?
- Batman is a vigilante, but is he a BAD guy?
- Seriously, I wanna know: What was your answer WRT the American Civil War question?