This article practically wrote itself. Here’s the background, though, to catch you up if you weren’t already paying attention.
I wrote a piece earlier this week entitled “Play Dates are Ass” which appealed to several of my like-minded female friends.
And any moms who disagreed don’t typically read my blog anyway because they are the boring type (or else Republicans, who admittedly aren’t always boring but who are generally uninvited).
So there I was cruising along thinking about what a great story I’d written, when out of nowhere this wild DAD appears, and he Tweets me in defense of play dates. I find this hysterical for many reasons, first of which is, why does a DAD give a shit how I feel about play dates, and second of which is, WTF does a DAD know about play dates anyway?
Okay, I will totally allow for the fact that I’m being sexist right just then. But come on. Really? A DAD wants to argue with a MOM about play dates and whether or not they are, indeed, ass? Someone help me out here.
Specifically, here is how the conversation went down.
@ @ oh, stop the drama over playdates. You sound like my social anxiety-ridden, closed-minded woman spazzing over BS.
— Howard Sams
So okay, it’s not just ME being sexist then. I feel infinitely better already. And “his woman” probably agrees with me, from the sound of things.
The way he refers to “his woman”, though, makes me wonder why she stays married to this dirt bag. I love my hubz an awful lot, but if he ever referred to me in such fashion — especially on a public forum — that’d be the last time he referred to me in any way whatsoever as there would be a chain around his throat and casts on each of his adorable fingers.
Sorry, Babes, but it’s true.
But wait, there’s more.
@ @ I was raised pre-playdate, loved playing solo and am an old school parent. But even I see the fun in them (for me)
— Howard Sams
Well, I’m so glad to know this DAD sees the fun in them for HIM. I wish he saw the UN-fun in them for ME. Which I spoke of at great length in the aforementioned article. But he doesn’t even see the UN-fun in them for “his woman” so why should a perfect stranger be granted any slack?
Here’s how I responded.
@ @ I didn’t START the drama over playdates. I merely intend to finish it. They were forced upon me by social twits.
— Andi-Roo ()
***NOTE***
I wish in retrospect that I’d said “social TWATS” instead of twits. Too bad Twitter doesn’t allow for do-overs. Shizah!
@ @ I am happy that you enjoy them. I, however, do not. And I don’t want to be judged as a shitty parent for that.
— Andi-Roo ()
Which I am. I am totally judged as a shitty parent for that. The school judges me, and other parents judge me and this douche judges me. They all think I’m a shitty parent for NOT enjoying play dates.
I’m judged for all the reasons I mentioned in my piece. Which the DAD obviously didn’t bother to read.
@ @ We’re all different but society wants us to fit into the same box. I rebel against that. Playdates aren’t my bag.
— Andi-Roo ()
And for the record, it isn’t just the social trend toward play dates against which I rebel.
Also not my bag? Pointy-toed shoes. Paisley purses. Any shoes or purses which cost more than $35 a pop. White picket fences. Church as a social playground. Boots with high-waters pants. Skinny jeans. T-shirts that cost more than $15 a pop. Most brand names. Fancy houses that are gorgeous but don’t look lived in and thus are torture to visit.
And other ugly, stupid, or overly expensive bullshit. Especially when it’s all three.
@ @ Perhaps the article would better have been titled “Playdates are ass TO ME but you socialites go ahead w/them/!”
— Andi-Roo ()
Except NO. Because it’s my fucking blog, on which it is therefore automatically understood that everything upon it is my opinion. It’s redundant to even have to say “TO ME” at the end of any title because THAT IS A GIVEN. I don’t claim to be an expert. I do, however, claim ownership of my (very strong) opinions.
@ @ Besides that, you’re a guy. Social rules are not the same for men as for women. Women are catty bitches. No thanks!
— Andi-Roo ()
It really irks me that any male would claim that I’m mistaken about how women are. Excuse me, Mr. Penis, but when was the last time you operated with a Vagina? Oh, you haven’t? That’s right — YOU’RE A GUY!
Therefore, on the topic of “How women make each other feel on a social basis”, all opinions are moot and void if they are rendered by a man. Men cannot know how women feel.
And that’s a good thing! We SHOULDN’T all feel the same! Men SHOULD view things completely differently than women do. My hubz and I contemplate issues from alternate perspectives, and we respect each other’s thoughts and opinions, and it’s pretty great.
But NEVER would one of us tell the other, “Your opinion on this is incorrect.” That statement is what would be incorrect. Opinions are based in feelings and emotions.
Now facts — that’s another story altogether. So if you can show me scientifically that women don’t, in fact, judge each other based on the things I rail against, then maybe I’ll reconsider my stance.
Until then, if you’re a guy — shut the fuck up when it comes to assessing my opinions.
