I was wondering if a long enough amount of time had passed since the Sandy Hook shootings that we could have a rational discussion about guns. From the reaction I received on Facebook, the answer would be a sharply resounding “NO” that bursts your eardrums as it whizzes by your face in the form […]
Dear Everyone to Whom I Would Have Sent Christmas Cards
… if I did that sort of thing. I always MEAN to send cards. I really do. I have all these great intentions of sitting down over Thanksgiving weekend and busting out with the Merries and the Hollies and the Hoo-rahs and the Go-Go-Gadget-Decorations-Galore. But it just doesn’t happen. Because of REASONS. WHY I DON’T […]
Christmas Letters
It’s about to be all Christmas and whatnot, which sucks for my blogging schedule. I had this other post planned which had to do with the fact that it’s not fair how sucky writing and crappy blogs get high page ranks because they do all this spammy bullshit that apparently works. But that topic is […]
Restrooms Shouldn’t Make Me Angry
This is going out during the Holiday Season, when everyone will be visiting restrooms at other people’s houses, but really my complaints apply year-round. I mean, unless you have IBS, you probably shit more than once a year, right? You might even pee-pee once or twice in the coming months. So if you own a […]
Holla if You Are Here Today
WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE TODAY? Okay, the fact that you’re even reading this is a bunch of bullshit, because it means that December 21, 2012 came and went with nary an apocalypse. You are here today on the interwebz, scrolling and trolling and just generally going about your business as usual. I must say, […]
Mick Jagger — Do You Have The Moves Like Jagger?
Mick Jagger, REALLY? I do not understand, in ANY way whatsoever, the current trend of showing love for Mick Jagger. Sure, I get that he was head of the Rolling Stones, and that they rocked the rocking world, and all that. If I’m being honest, though (and when am I ever NOT?), I couldn’t name […]
Are You Closed-Minded?
Point of View. Perspective. Voice. Identity. These are all traits which indicate who we are. We develop our personalities over time based on how we interact with one another — who we bounce off of and who we rub the wrong way are every bit as self-defining and as important in figuring out what we […]
Don’t Like It, Get Out
Here’s an example of why I hate being on Facebook. I just saw this incredibly nice person I happen to know “In Real Life” put up a poster as her status which makes me suddenly want to punch her in the titty: How the fuck is this sign in any way Christian — […]
Good Mom I am NOT
A friend of mine recently bought her son a new car. A super-shiny, sporty, expensive, NOT used, brand-stinking-new car. Her son is in high school. Give me a break, okay? That event, by itself, would probably just have been one of those things I try not to dwell upon, because envy isn’t a pleasant […]
Black Friday is Dead to Me
When my sister first moved to Ohio over ten years ago, she and I began our annual trek to make fun of people shopping the day after Thanksgiving. I didn’t even know it was called Black Friday back then. Maybe nobody did. I think it was a retail thing. You know, because who wants […]
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